Title this Something Catchy
Intro:
I wasn't planning on the funky title thing, but inspiration isn't something I've ever found can be expected at a certain time. Really, that's how the Spirit works, right? He doesn't always come with new lessons when we expect.
Sorry. I only get so many seconds to catch your attention. Did I? Is what a friend has to say only important if they can catch your attention within mere seconds?
Second Intro:
I haven't written for a while and I've missed it. My life got crazy busy all at once. A wonderful man was led into my days by the Father (a pleasant distraction), I had an emergency with my orthodontist (an annoying distraction), and then I totaled my car (which was horrendously distracting). I'm writing now because I've finally had a couple hours for my brain to breathe. And also this is the day of the week I don't "get" to hear the comforting voice of the man who often says "shalom" whenever I answer my phone. We're courting. There's these rules we set that we like to follow so we don't go too fast. :D
Blog Body:
The point is I need to slow down. There is a difference between serving and working after all. All of September I spent serving others and running from here to there. That was nice except I was over serving the church at the same time and into the first couple weeks of October. Finally, when the things I "had" to do for the church subsided... I crashed hard. I stayed in my room for three days and didn't do anything for anyone else.
Or did I?
So, here's the thing. You can't expect God to always come and lead you in the same way, right? The Spirit loves to be sought out and found. He loves to surprise. He loves to make us think on Him and to lead us into new ways we might depend on His goodness. Otherwise where is the relationship (in all of it's attributes)? And I've seen if we won't heed His drawing us toward something He'll sometimes gives us a push.
All of the service I did for others for God's name became stresses and they tired me. What good are you when you do something with half a heart and no energy? We are not called to that. I think my favorite word to use is "balance." I've been using it left and right. But I don't think of balance as an equal distribution of weight. I think of balance as the proper distribution of weight for what God has called a person to.
When I took those three days away from people I wrote in my spare time. I began a story about a little girl who finds a bunny. And I felt fulfilled (both spiritually and in my soul). It took me to be completely maxed out and zombified to finally do what God had been telling me to do for months. I'm a writer. My story will save lives one day if it's truly God's doing, yes? That is the right perspective to hold. Even if the bunny story never does save a life it's prepared me to write a story that will. What am I doing instead? I'm instead maxing myself out doing the "seen" tasks of the kingdom (instant gratification); beaten down by an enemy claim that writing is not a service.
In the reality of God I know (no, I don't claim to be all-knowing), no service you do is a service to God if He didn't first tell you to do it.
It's funny how serving God is actually a service to you (both in spirit and soul).
I wasn't serving unto God. I was working unto a perception of what God wanted. I turned what was meant to be basic service (keeping wheels spinning) for the church into work through doing too much of the spinning. Honestly, it would have been enough to be servicing the friends I did in September. They needed help and love, they are the church too, but I didn't think that was true service at the time. I saw it as an individual thing I wanted to do for loved ones. But it was service unto God because He lead me to do it. Your service to the kingdom and to the church doesn't have to be seen by a church official for it to count.
This is why the Holy Spirit is such a treasure. He tells us individually where we should go!
Conclusion:
I will live a calmer, quieter life; be it a process to accomplish that. I'm called to this and it's been hard for me to walk out because the world runs a thousand miles an hour with only seconds of judgement to give to anything it might "take the time" to read.
I will rest in Christ. That means I need to learn to say "no." I can only be so responsible for the speculation of others. So, I'll try to be as clear as I can of the heart behind my actions while remembering that the judgements of man are walls which only God can break.
I will walk in as much wisdom as I can when it comes to my new, unavoidable orthodontist debt and not having a car with literally no money to buy a new one. But I won't run around all freaked out about it. People would, of course, see me and think I'm being productive, when really I'm just racing myself in circles. God will take care of me and I will act as the Holy Spirit leads me; which always has a purpose and is never rushed.
I will allow myself to properly value the gift of being a writer that God has given me.
I will have shalom. I'll welcome the lovely balance which is already coming between this wonderful man in my life and our loves of writing.
I wasn't planning on the funky title thing, but inspiration isn't something I've ever found can be expected at a certain time. Really, that's how the Spirit works, right? He doesn't always come with new lessons when we expect.
Sorry. I only get so many seconds to catch your attention. Did I? Is what a friend has to say only important if they can catch your attention within mere seconds?
Second Intro:
I haven't written for a while and I've missed it. My life got crazy busy all at once. A wonderful man was led into my days by the Father (a pleasant distraction), I had an emergency with my orthodontist (an annoying distraction), and then I totaled my car (which was horrendously distracting). I'm writing now because I've finally had a couple hours for my brain to breathe. And also this is the day of the week I don't "get" to hear the comforting voice of the man who often says "shalom" whenever I answer my phone. We're courting. There's these rules we set that we like to follow so we don't go too fast. :D
Blog Body:
The point is I need to slow down. There is a difference between serving and working after all. All of September I spent serving others and running from here to there. That was nice except I was over serving the church at the same time and into the first couple weeks of October. Finally, when the things I "had" to do for the church subsided... I crashed hard. I stayed in my room for three days and didn't do anything for anyone else.
Or did I?
So, here's the thing. You can't expect God to always come and lead you in the same way, right? The Spirit loves to be sought out and found. He loves to surprise. He loves to make us think on Him and to lead us into new ways we might depend on His goodness. Otherwise where is the relationship (in all of it's attributes)? And I've seen if we won't heed His drawing us toward something He'll sometimes gives us a push.
All of the service I did for others for God's name became stresses and they tired me. What good are you when you do something with half a heart and no energy? We are not called to that. I think my favorite word to use is "balance." I've been using it left and right. But I don't think of balance as an equal distribution of weight. I think of balance as the proper distribution of weight for what God has called a person to.
When I took those three days away from people I wrote in my spare time. I began a story about a little girl who finds a bunny. And I felt fulfilled (both spiritually and in my soul). It took me to be completely maxed out and zombified to finally do what God had been telling me to do for months. I'm a writer. My story will save lives one day if it's truly God's doing, yes? That is the right perspective to hold. Even if the bunny story never does save a life it's prepared me to write a story that will. What am I doing instead? I'm instead maxing myself out doing the "seen" tasks of the kingdom (instant gratification); beaten down by an enemy claim that writing is not a service.
In the reality of God I know (no, I don't claim to be all-knowing), no service you do is a service to God if He didn't first tell you to do it.
It's funny how serving God is actually a service to you (both in spirit and soul).
I wasn't serving unto God. I was working unto a perception of what God wanted. I turned what was meant to be basic service (keeping wheels spinning) for the church into work through doing too much of the spinning. Honestly, it would have been enough to be servicing the friends I did in September. They needed help and love, they are the church too, but I didn't think that was true service at the time. I saw it as an individual thing I wanted to do for loved ones. But it was service unto God because He lead me to do it. Your service to the kingdom and to the church doesn't have to be seen by a church official for it to count.
This is why the Holy Spirit is such a treasure. He tells us individually where we should go!
Conclusion:
I will live a calmer, quieter life; be it a process to accomplish that. I'm called to this and it's been hard for me to walk out because the world runs a thousand miles an hour with only seconds of judgement to give to anything it might "take the time" to read.
I will rest in Christ. That means I need to learn to say "no." I can only be so responsible for the speculation of others. So, I'll try to be as clear as I can of the heart behind my actions while remembering that the judgements of man are walls which only God can break.
I will walk in as much wisdom as I can when it comes to my new, unavoidable orthodontist debt and not having a car with literally no money to buy a new one. But I won't run around all freaked out about it. People would, of course, see me and think I'm being productive, when really I'm just racing myself in circles. God will take care of me and I will act as the Holy Spirit leads me; which always has a purpose and is never rushed.
I will allow myself to properly value the gift of being a writer that God has given me.
I will have shalom. I'll welcome the lovely balance which is already coming between this wonderful man in my life and our loves of writing.
From my bedroom window, my favorite season.
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