1 of 2 The Absence
I’ve become pretty “absent” from some things over the past couple of months. Namely Facebook and my church. Assumptions fly, so I’m choosing to bring clarity through blogging.
(See my last blog for foundational thoughts on assumptions).
Facebook
I don’t have 20 awake hours in one day, and relationships take a lot of energy. Social media gets a back seat to all that's going on with keeping up with my friends and family while Ian and I are moving quickly into readiness for marriage. I still scroll my Facebook wall at least once a day. (:
My Church
This time last year I stood in a very different place. I was confident in myself without any foundations for believing I should be the person I was. But I was sure of these four things:
1. Something big was coming
2. I had a longing to learn again
3. I wanted music in my life as a ministry
4. My heart was no longer rooted at SonLife (my church)
So, I thought that meant I was going to college! Oklahoma to be exact. Onward to a six month journey allowing my heart to break and all that I was familiar with in Christianity to flip. I’d thought maybe God wanted me to move to two other colleges too, but no. No student life for me and I was conflicted as to why. God has shown me recently that I simply misinterpreted what I was sensing spiritually. But every step it took me to figure out the proper interpretation was entirely worth it. (:
As for church, two months ago God drew me to go with Him on an adventure to learn just a part of all He wanted to teach me last year. That part was for me to have a broad mindset on His narrow way. He doesn’t dwell in one denomination after all. I spoke to my pastor about it and took the last two months to be away from SonLife. Originally I thought it was going to be me visiting a new church every week and then I wrecked my car. So, it became me going to Ian’s church instead of mine. God likes to change our plans.
The important thing wasn’t that I have an adventure to experience new churches as I thought (though I still think that would be a wonderfully enlightening experience). The adventure was allowing my mind to understand fully that my church does not own me, nor control me. I am a being who stands on her own and is capable of making her own decisions. Not to disregard advice and counsel, because they are direly important, but neither advice or counsel always come in the same ways. The spirit likes to keep us from getting sleepy by changing things up! My mindsets were in a rut of false expectation and obligation to things I am not bound to.
I feel led to return now for the new church launch and back my pastor up as Sonlife switches to… Navigation! Very exciting.
So, that’s why I haven’t been at my church much. Simple as that. I don’t go on Wednesdays because I haven’t felt led to for a long time and only went to help out with the youth (because young adults are my calling), but due to not being much of a part of the youth ministry after hovering around for two years it wasn’t much of a difference for me to step out because I had other things come up. Vwalah.
To Conclude
I can now happily say God taught me last year the foundations to believe I am who I am in Him. You know, at least on some significant level. As for the four things I was sure about? One year in the making and God brings to me a treasure named Ian.
1. Something big was coming
- What we have is pretty big. (:
2. I had a longing to learn again
- Ian teaches me all the time and God teaches me through him great things about His love!
3. I wanted music in my life as a ministry
- Ian and I perform and sing together, and he’s teaching me how to do that better too. :P
4. My heart was no longer rooted at SonLife
- When Ian and I get married I’ll be leaving my church and joining his.
See my next blog for information about Ian and I’s relationship. (:
(See my last blog for foundational thoughts on assumptions).
I don’t have 20 awake hours in one day, and relationships take a lot of energy. Social media gets a back seat to all that's going on with keeping up with my friends and family while Ian and I are moving quickly into readiness for marriage. I still scroll my Facebook wall at least once a day. (:
My Church
This time last year I stood in a very different place. I was confident in myself without any foundations for believing I should be the person I was. But I was sure of these four things:
1. Something big was coming
2. I had a longing to learn again
3. I wanted music in my life as a ministry
4. My heart was no longer rooted at SonLife (my church)
So, I thought that meant I was going to college! Oklahoma to be exact. Onward to a six month journey allowing my heart to break and all that I was familiar with in Christianity to flip. I’d thought maybe God wanted me to move to two other colleges too, but no. No student life for me and I was conflicted as to why. God has shown me recently that I simply misinterpreted what I was sensing spiritually. But every step it took me to figure out the proper interpretation was entirely worth it. (:
As for church, two months ago God drew me to go with Him on an adventure to learn just a part of all He wanted to teach me last year. That part was for me to have a broad mindset on His narrow way. He doesn’t dwell in one denomination after all. I spoke to my pastor about it and took the last two months to be away from SonLife. Originally I thought it was going to be me visiting a new church every week and then I wrecked my car. So, it became me going to Ian’s church instead of mine. God likes to change our plans.
The important thing wasn’t that I have an adventure to experience new churches as I thought (though I still think that would be a wonderfully enlightening experience). The adventure was allowing my mind to understand fully that my church does not own me, nor control me. I am a being who stands on her own and is capable of making her own decisions. Not to disregard advice and counsel, because they are direly important, but neither advice or counsel always come in the same ways. The spirit likes to keep us from getting sleepy by changing things up! My mindsets were in a rut of false expectation and obligation to things I am not bound to.
I feel led to return now for the new church launch and back my pastor up as Sonlife switches to… Navigation! Very exciting.
So, that’s why I haven’t been at my church much. Simple as that. I don’t go on Wednesdays because I haven’t felt led to for a long time and only went to help out with the youth (because young adults are my calling), but due to not being much of a part of the youth ministry after hovering around for two years it wasn’t much of a difference for me to step out because I had other things come up. Vwalah.
To Conclude
I can now happily say God taught me last year the foundations to believe I am who I am in Him. You know, at least on some significant level. As for the four things I was sure about? One year in the making and God brings to me a treasure named Ian.
1. Something big was coming
- What we have is pretty big. (:
2. I had a longing to learn again
- Ian teaches me all the time and God teaches me through him great things about His love!
3. I wanted music in my life as a ministry
- Ian and I perform and sing together, and he’s teaching me how to do that better too. :P
4. My heart was no longer rooted at SonLife
- When Ian and I get married I’ll be leaving my church and joining his.
See my next blog for information about Ian and I’s relationship. (:
(A picture Ian took on my birthday).
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