Our Chi Town Life

Life is weird right now. Ian has never been so busy before and I have never been so... pregnant. Well, ever actually - I've never been pregnant and I was not at all prepared for its insane amount of wretchedness. Couple that with an entirely new environment where I have found my social butterfly self trapped inside a third story apartment from exhaustion usually snuggled next to my only Chicago friend (our cat) and mainly wondering if the toddler that has started making fits on a regular basis in our complex has simply hit a terrible twos phase or is maybe now being babysat and thinks he can get away with more... I try not to dwell instead on missing how easy life was living in the area where I grew up, how greatly I miss my husband, and how I miss being able to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted without the impending threat of... illness. Right now I go through three cans of Pringles in a week because my stomach likes them. I used to have taste buds. Now I have pregnancy buds. All that to say, life is weird right now.

No, we weren't planning the baby. We were so happy when we found out though. It was a plus/minus thing. We knew it would be better to wait until after the hardest year of Ian's life (this master's program), but we had reached the place where we were itching for a little one to join us. "Knowing" something plays out a little different when you're a Christian though. God knows everything and we believe the timing of life consists of choices we make that rest firmly in His hands. So, the baby is due to be born just days before Ian's thesis is due and it is what it is. We didn't know from the onset that we would be pregnant while in Chicago, but we did know it would be hard. So, this is hard. I had planned to write a novel while up here, but I haven't touched it. Things have changed. Basic expectations have had to flip flop. Still, we were prepared for a challenge in general and we're learning to adjust. 

About that pregnancy thing, I am happy. There are positives to pregnancy. Namely there is an actual child growing inside me and I am very excited about that little life - however surreal it might be to look at my bulging stomach and know (but not at all understand) that my body is actually capable of creating a human being. 

Positive: I am a housewife. If I worked an outside job I'd have had to quit and we might find ourselves in a financial bind. Maybe it's not so hard for all women, but the first trimester is usually quite the challenge regardless, and for me it was a deal breaker. My life was miserable for months. I had no energy at all. I could only lay on the couch and watch T.V. So, The housewife thing is a major blessing. 

Positive: I'm in the second trimester now and I have a great deal more energy. I've been crafting and gradually going more places. I've been meeting potential friends! The other night we had a dinner date! I talked way too much for excitement of being out of the house and I can only hope it was more endearing than overwhelming, but I think they liked us at the end of the night.

Positive: My husband is a love bug. He's so warming and comforting, and he gives me the greatest encouragement on those days when I feel worthless because I'm too tired to make dinner or the house is getting too dusty. He doesn't care. He loves me for me and not my perception of accomplishment, and he's proud of my baby incubating skills - whatever they involve.

There's positives to Chicago and the master's program too! Ian is having so much fun. He loves it. It stresses him out, but he's doing great. Family has helped us with a lot of things that, I guess we could have lived without, but really, we needed. Like a router for the internet or a microwave so I can have popcorn. (I really like popcorn). We aren't living beyond our means so we don't have to skimp on food. We have a beautiful apartment, we live in a beautiful part of the city, and we're safe here. I don't worry about Ian when he's out past dark. Even though I've lost him to work on Saturdays we still have date night. We have an agreement that I get at least two hours on any night he has to work a lot.  He does laundry for us on Tuesdays when he has a lot to read so I don't have to climb three flights of stairs. I do little loads in our bath tub to save on his time and our budget since we don't pay a water bill. We're figuring things out.

We've even found the perfect church for this season of our lives! The Church of the Shepard is just what my "post-charismatic" heart has been yearning for. I need the structure, reverence, and communal focus of liturgical worship right now. Also, the community itself is full of loving, Christ filled family who are great for us. It's just... exactly what we need here in Chicago. And we found it so quickly. God just kind of put it into our laps.

We also found the ideal doctor to take care of me during my pregnancy! That honestly was all in God's hands to every detail. I had no clue where to even start and when we finally did get thing sorted out the fact that she was the one the hospital chose to give me out of all the doctors... I am happy. 

So, it's hard. I mean, really hard. It's also pretty... Actually, it's wonderful. It's one of those adventure things, you know? Our Chi Town life is definitely an adventure. The real kind where you feel like you are beyond yourself while every inch of you wouldn't change a single thing. We're doing good. This prego lady is doing good. We're getting by and God is all around us showing us new ways to focus on Him in a world where all our focuses have changed.

Baby incubating